Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Ossamumeie, ma olen tagasi.




Kus on alles aega mööda läinud. Püha müristus. Eks ma panin seal eelmise aasta lõpus parasjagu korralikult lohet ka ja jätsin üksjagu postitusi tegemata, aga mis Sa teed, kui lõunamaised kombed külge hakkavad. Rumeenia sai selleks hooajaks otsa, mis oli tingitud sellest, et kohe aasta alguses hakkas üks kollase lume pall veerema, aeglustumise märki näitamata põrutas ta meie ilusasse suvesse ka sisse. Nüüd suurte soojadega leidis ta siiski lõpu.

Mis siis uut... hmm... ostsin uue paari muste sokke. Üle pika aja mõtlesin enda peale pisut laristada. Ja teate sokke läheb ikka alati vaja. Nende eelmistega läks juba keeruliseks, olid teised juba korralikult lõhki ning ei jõudnud enam aukude seest jalga musta markeriga ära värvida.

Aga veel. Kooli üritan saada, õppima TLÜ-sse kas siis Ristmeediat filmis ja televisioonis või Reklaami ja imagoloogiat. Kõik katsed edukalt läbitud ja isegi vestlustel läks nõnda hästi, et keelati teise eriala peale mõtlemine üldse ära. Kui see ristmeedia värgi eest 2000 semestris välja ei peaks käima oleks valiku tegemine isegi täitsa kerge. Aga näedsa, lood pisut kehvemad.

Ristmeedia tarbeks oli tarvis meisterdada audiovisuaalsete vahenditega enesetutvustus (aka Video CV). Käisime, siis Karlaga ühel päeval tema pruta töökoha ümbruses (ta lihtsalt ei saa sellest tüdrukust eemal olla.. suht gei, aga whatevs) ja filmisime mind rumalusi tegemas. Ja siis ühel teisel päeval istusime Lehiste tänava noortekeskuse nurgas ja filmisime jälle mind rumalusi tegemas. Päris tuus oli.


See tagas mulle siis pääsu kirjaliku loovülesande vooru, kus tuli kirjutada 400-500 sõnaline lühijutt, inglise keeles, milles pidi olema selge algus, keskosa ja lõpp. Samuti pidid seal olema vähemalt kaks tegelast - hea ja paha ning mingi eesmärk/raskus/ülesanne, mis loo lõpuks saab lahendatud. Kirjatükk pidi kõigil algama järgneva lausega: "Susan despaired for she had not expected all the camels to die overnight". See sai ka päris tuus.


A story about camels.


Susan despaired for she had not expected all the camels to die overnight, it wasn’t even the first time something like this had happened to her. „I need to switch professions” she thought. The last she heard from Ed, was an abrubtly ended call, where he asked her to bring a pack of camels to a known russian criminals house in the country-side of Novgorod. „He is killing me!” and the call was cut off.

And now here she is, smack-dab in the middle of Russia during one of the most freezing winters of recent history sitting on the hump of a dead camel looking back at the choices she took that got her here. She wished Ed had been there with her. It was all his fault after all. Getting mixed up with a russian mobster. That stupid bastard.

Transporting those animals to this very scary and powerful figure was the only way of freeing her man and she blew it. Just a days walk from the destination, nothing else to do now but see if that Sergei guy will give her another chance.
Packing the booze and cigarettes on those beasts of burden was a good idea she thought, especially now. You can always exchange this stuff for a service you need in Russia. She filled her sack with the goods and headed on up the road.

Hungry, tired, frozen to the bone and a bit tipsy from the Afghani booze she drank to keep some heat in her body, Susan collapsed at the gates of the mansion, with nothing but a bag full of cigarettes and the moonshine she got from the smugglers near Kabul.

„Where are my camels!?” she heard a deep voice yell, as her tired body was carried by the gatekeeper to the sofa in the main hall of the mansion. „Dead” was all she could say just before noticing Ed walk down the stairs.

„What on earth took you so long, dear?” he asked, and took the bag she was carrying from her, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from the inside. „’Kent’? We asked for ’Camels’, a pack of ’Camels’. It’ll have to do I guess.”

„Cigarettes?! You mean to say, that I’ve traveled 2000 miles and left a trail of dead camels when all you wanted was cigarettes?!? But what about him killing you?”

„Ah, yes. You see, we were playing a splendid game of ’Risk’, and he had just wiped out the last of my artillery-men”

„Ed!”

„Oh stop being so melodramatic, woman, and come, Sergei has prepared some borsch for us.”

„I do feel famished”.


The End



Pole tänu väärt. Järgmise korrani.